An End to All Things Countdown:

22 DAYS

photo credit: Klearchos Kapoutsis via Flickr

 

In light of the 2012 Mayan Prophecy, it turns out that we have but a short time to prepare for the end. Procrastination is not recommended.  That is why each week leading up to our collective doom we will post short excerpts from stories in Jared Yates Sexton’s collection An End to All Things that give clues as to how to survive the Apocalypse–or at least how to make it a little more comfortable.

 

WARNING SIGNS

            “It dawned on us that maybe our luck had run out. First the car started coughing and jumping to the right, then the hot water heater leaked so bad it fell through the laundry-room floor. We were trying to lift it out when the kids came running to tell us there was a man in the driveway. He’d hit a cat—our cat—and he wanted to apologize.”

—from the short story “The Right Men for the Job”

Translation: So your house is falling apart.  You’ve just got no luck recently.  Everything is going downhill.  Either you’ve got a Poltergeist situation and built your home atop a Native American cemetery, or the end is near.  After checking some maps at your local court house or library, feel free to assume the latter.